Brendan Fraser sucks...

How does this guy keep getting movie roles. He is a crappy actor and, from what my wife says, he's not much to look at. I decided to take some time to review this poster child of the decline of western cinema. The following is a look at his life and his "art".

Brendan Fraser didn't get a good start. His parents were both Canadian. Nothing good ever came from Canada, notably Alanis Morissette, Celine Dion, Crash Test Dummies and Barack Obama. Actually, Barack Saddam Hussein Obama Bin Laden was born in Kenya, but he sucks just as much as any other Canadian.

Here is a list of his most popular movies...

• The Mummy - Great movie if you ignore the leading man.
• The Mummy Returns - A great example of Hollywood taking too much from a good thing. Also, the leading man sucked.
• The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor - Seriously, this franchise died with the thought of making the first sequel. To quote the crappy leading man, "Not again". Jet Li? I thought your last film was 5 years ago. Make better career decisions or you might end up co-starring with Jakie Chan... uh ... too late.
• Journey to the Center of the Earth - I'm not going to admit to seeing this. So... judging by the advertisements, this looks like a kid flick. Speaking of kid flicks...
• George of the Jungle & Dudley Do-Right - Again, kid flicks. Perhaps Mr. Fraser will take a hint and stick to this genre.
• Crash - Awesome movie. This movie is just about flawless. The only problem is the character portrayed by Brendan Fraser sucks.
• Encino Man - Another great movie and his best movie role. In a completely unrelated note, Brendan doesn't speak at all with exemption to grunting a couple of words here and there.

Message to Hollywood: Stop putting this guy in movies. If you can't stop, then please don't advertise for the movies you put him in. If you can't stop spam advertising, please keep your movie trailers on the Disney Channel, Cartoon Network, or Nickelodeon.

The basic anatomy of a Hollywood movie trailer consists of a narrator with a deep voice, a couple action scenes, and the "coolest" and "funniest" one-liners from the movie. The problem with these "cool" and "funny" one-liners is they suck, especially when spoken by Brendan Fraser. So while I'm trying to watch House, Law and Order, Heroes, or any other great show with great actors, I have to suffer through crappy one-liners uttered by Brendan Fraser during the commercials.